Raising Kyla

This is a picture I am very proud of - my daughter at this year's annual Me To We event in Toronto. If you haven't heard of Me To We, take a minute and google it. If you have kids, this is an excellent way to encourage them to grow into an awesome individuals.
I have to say, I was a little nervous about taking Kyla to this event. My sister's company was a sponsor for the event, which is how we were able to get to the event. The problem is, Kyla is a shy, quiet kid, and this is way over the top! There were tons of speakers, musicians, you name it, Me to We had it. It was one thing after the other, lots of time to jump out of your seat and dance and get excited about forming a global community with other like minded kids. In total - this was way over kyla's head and I knew it. The messages were directed at teens, and for the most part, Kyla sat there not understanding the language. But this is nothing new to Kyla. After being immersed in french immersion for a couple years now, she has learned to sit and watch and wait till she understands. She was swept away with the music in parts, was excited to get the t-shirt, and thrilled she could spend a day in Toronto with her aunt. That is what she understood at first. But, little by little, thanks to a very well developed program that Free the Children and Me to We lays out, we have been able to talk about all she heard that day at the ACC. We are taking small steps in our own home to challenge Kyla to make a difference globally. To be honest, I love the role I get as mom for Kyla. I love cuddling with her and talking about making a difference. I love pushing her to do things she never thought possible and the the smiles and hugs i get afterwards when she accomplishes the goal. I have no doubt this kid will accomplish great things when she is bigger, and I will be the one in the front row cheering her on.
(along with her aunt too! thanks for the tickets Laural!)

Kyla's quilt - sneak peak!

So, I may have taken the summer off from blogging - even though i really just started it I guess - but that was because I was sewing into the middle of the night many evenings. Kyla's quilt got started and stopped continually throughout the summer. I was working away on another crazy quilting project, plus I decided to repaint my floors and remake a slipcover. I also discovered Joanne's fabric in the States and bought enough fabric there to line up about 5 more projects. Why did I not know about this place before?!! Well, I kinda did. I've read many a blog that talked about a trip to Joanne's, but I had no idea!! We stopped in on the way home from vacation in the summer - when I had ten measly American dollars left in my pocket. Do you understand how tortured I was trying to just spend $10?? I did end up going back near the end of the summer - this time with just a bit more money in my pocket, so I have a little bit of a nice stash in my basement ready for evenings of coffee and sewing.

Well, after bits and spurts, I finally tackled sewing up Kyla's quilt in time for the winter. If you can tell from the picture, the front is assembled and sewn onto the back. I did a really simple "stitch in the ditch" technique to frame out all the amazing fabrics Kyla chose, but to me, it seems a little flat - not soft and quilty enough. I went to the quilt store and bought a free motion quilting sewing attachment for my machine, and tonight I am going to practice with it. Basically, you drop the feed dogs on your machine that would normally guide your fabric through, and instead you do the work. So, that means you can draw with the sewing machine. Mind you, this is all theory right now. I've seen it on a million blogs, but tonight i give it a go! I've seen quilts finished with flower designs quilted all over and I think this is a perfect solution to the squares. Once I get the hang of it and actually try it on my machine, I'll take a close up for you to inspect!

Now, just to be clear - quilting is a lot of work and very time consuming. But in a good way! I get lost in it some evenings, and watching all the fabrics get sewn up is very satisfying from an artistic standpoint. But, the true test is not so much how pretty or accurate the quilt is, but how much the person receiving it loves it and cuddles under it. Mine has already had a good test run! Kyla came down with an earache on Sunday afternoon and was generally miserable for the rest of the evening. We pulled out Little House on the Prairie DVDs and stayed up really late watching them together while I sewed the quilt and she nursed a very sore ear. While I was sewing, Kyla started moving closer and closer and eventually was all cuddled up under the somewhat done quilt, and fell fast asleep. I knew the project was a success at that moment.

summer is done - we made it!

I always seem to forget how challenging summer will be. I set out with great intentions - and although I did meet my expectations for the kids, I think I got lost in the mix. There was no end to running them here, there, and everywhere in the hopes that I am raising happy, well-adjusted kids. Friendships that aren't easily maintained throughout the school year are nurtured during the summer. Living in suburbia also seems to indicate you should put your kids in summer camps and such. I do see the benefit, but somehow, it still takes so much energy by the end of the summer. I forget to sit. I forget to eat. I realize at 11pm that I'm grumpy and tired and hungry. But, all the frustration aside, today I miss my kids! My eldest got on the bus, overjoyed to be going to school and seeing all her friends, and my other daughter got her much anticipated birthday present from my sister - a date at a restuarant with her alone! (since my sis is off work to get her son settled in school as well today).

Suddenly, all the tasks I've put on hold for my kids are staring me down, and it is all feeling very daunting I must say!!The reality of starting my own business seems to weight down on me as I sit staring at the computer screen. There's alot of self-doubt that creeps in when you're all by yourself!

But, having said all that - Guess what?!! It's time to pic up my daughter from the bus!! My first day back has ended! I made it through! I'm very happy at my success - as small as it is really. Tomorrow I'll make goals, schedules and send a thousand more emails, right now, I'm mom again.

Betty Jane Jones

I'd like to introduce you to my grandma.
I came across this picture of her as I was sorting and organizing my office/sewing room (a long overdue job that is taking forever).
I originally found this picture of her right after she passed away a few years ago and I had the job of creating a memory board for the funeral. I stopped in my tracks as I stared down at this picture, knowing it was just perfect. I have no idea who took this picture in my family, or how it ended up back in her possession instead of in someone else's box of pictures. But, that aside, this picture is, simply put, the best picture there is of my grandma. If I close my eyes, this is how I would picture her - working away in her ridiculously cramped kitchen, always sporting an apron and getting buns out for some meal. I love that the cupboard is open and I can stare into her cupboard full of boxed food since she was a woman of the 50's. Notice my grandma has 2 tea kettles - one to boil, one to steep - I learned that from her. She made horrid coffee, but she had a great knack for tea. The curtains were made by her when she came to the house as a bride, and 50 years later, in her eyes, they were still perfect. The lovely old stove hardly worked anymore, but she had the knack for knowing how to fuss with it to make it putter along. On top of her fridge is a large tin plate that held the most unusual and useful items ever! As a kid I remember thinking that everything you needed in life could be found in that try - or so it seemed at grandma's. I hadn't put it together till right now but that same tray rests on my fridge now, holding cereal and stuff for my family. The caper on this picture that makes it just about perfect in my eyes is that it is taken from the front hall that lead straight through to the kitchen in her house. When I stare at this picture long enough, I feel like I could be right there, in her front hall, walking in to give her a hug hello. I would give pretty much anything right about now to do that. My grandma was my best friend and I will always, always miss her.

Sewing, old school style

Well, I'm back from our family vacation. We did our second annual trek to the Poconos. The girls love the place we stay at because of the 2 pools and the fact that it backs onto a small stables where they can visit all the animals on a daily basis. I love the fact that a little trip up the road brings you to a Barnes and Nobles/Starbucks. Every day we went for good coffee and tons of books. I stumbled along a very cool book that I felt I could not live without. It is a guide to sewing machine attachments. Now, this may seem a bit boring to some, but to me - I feel like I have found the holy grail of sewing!! Years ago I purchased an old peddle sewing machine that came with a bunch of old sewing attachments that looked odd and unusual. I have been dying to use this machine to find out first of all how hard it is to use a peddle, and secondly to give an older feel to sewing pieces I work on. Armed with this new book I acquired on vacation, I feel I am finally ready to take the plunge and sew with it.

Not only that, this book shows many attachments still available on the market today. There are some I just have to try asap!!I believe I will be ordering a few specialty attachments from some of the stores listed in this book. Really and truly, I believe that the tiny boxes that these attachments will be coming in will be much more exciting to me than a little box of jewelry. My anniversary is coming up soon, hmmm! (steviewonder - hint, hint!!)

Some day soon when my sewing desk isn't embarrassingly messy I'll snap a few shots of this old sewing machine I'm talking about and the sewing machine my grandma gave me when I lived with her. Both have sat dormant way too long (my grandma's in particular since I lost the key to open it - later to be found in a box of barbie bits and bobs!) and need to be oiled and taken for a test drive soon!! More to come!!

socks

My job with Vera started out as simply to take her out for walks. Nothing more, nothing less. I thought I'd stumbled across the dream job - good money, easy task. What I soon learned with my job is that nothing was easy. There is absolutely nothing straightforward when it comes to Alzheimer's. Everything you take for granted in a day is a challenge to someone dealing with Alzheimer's. For me, I was to learn this lesson with socks.

Vera would shuffle around her seniors residence in slippers most of the day. The backs of the slippers were bent and pushed down from her constantly slipping in and out of them as she pleased. When it came to taking her out for a walk, we had to ditch the comfy slippers and put on practical walking shoes. Although this seems easy in theory, it was to be my longest hour EVER!!!

Not knowing I was walking into problems, I asked Vera to sit in her chair while I changed her slippers to shoes. She calmly allowed me to remove the slippers. After I had done so, she asked that I re-adjust her socks. No problem. I fiddled with the toes and carried on. I quickly took the shoe and fit it on her foot and went to carry on to the next foot. Not so fast. Vera explained that something wasn't feeling right. Hmmmm. I looked at the shoe, seemed okay, but maybe I hadn't pulled the sock up, so I removed the shoe, checked there was nothing in the shoe, readjusted the sock and put the shoe back on. Nope. She still seemed dissatisfied with it. Something was wrong, and she couldn't put her finger on it. I tried again. I removed the shoe. She asked that I pull the sock a bit near her baby toe. On went the shoe again, again the complaint was lobbied. Over and over till i could have pounded my head with the shoe. I was watching the clock and realizing by the time the shoe fit, my time to visit would be over. I gave up. I put the slippers back on and we walked the halls instead, with me frustrated over the turn of events.

I must admit, it didn't end that day. I went home, angry and frustrated, and realizing that this job was more than i bargained for. I went back a few more times, and with each attempt to get the shoes on, I was met with the challenge of the socks not fitting. Slowly it dawned on me what the problem was. It wasn't the shoes or the socks really, it was me. It was my job to reassure Vera, and to keep her going in her life. I was stuck. I couldn't get past the socks. With renewed vigor, I went back the next day and was convinced I could get the shoes and socks to work, and we could actually get outside! This time, I listened to her concerns, I worked with her, but I also stepped into the role of caregiver for the first time. I changed the topic, talked about where we were walking, maybe getting a tea, and suddenly, socks were no longer on her radar. She had refocused her attention on the next part of our journey.I'd cut my time down from 1 hour putting on shoes and socks to 5 minutes!! Finally I was being helpful and being the person Vera needed me to be.

How this blog was born

Remember when you were little and would dream about what you wanted to be when you grew up? Well, I always dreamt I would be a famous author. Now, this is only because I read Anne of Green Gables and Emily of New Moon about 100 times each and romanticized about sitting in the attic, writing beautiful stories, while peering wistfully into the dusk. Reality hit in high school when I realized I was not that talented in the writing department! Still, every time I have one of those Emily moments and read the book over again, I get lost in the dream of it all over again!

I remember sitting in the car last year, driving on vacation, just a couple weeks after Vera had passed away, and letting my mind ramble over all the memories I had of Vera. We spent all this time together, and what do you do when the person you built your life around is gone? I was staring out the window, looking at the hills we were driving by, thinking I should sit down and string all the memories together somehow. But, the more I thought of my time with Vera, I realized my memories of her were all jumbled around, and would resurface at the oddest times, being triggered by many different things. I tried to organize her life and what it had meant to me in a straightforward format, but couldn't. What I realized was that from this point onwards in my life, many moments would be connected to Vera, and pop up unexpectedly. She had entwined her life in mine so quietly and subtly, I wasn't sure where it all stopped and started.

So, therefore, I have created this blog. As life unravels, and I am reminded of my dear friend over and over in many ways, I will continue to pay tribute to her through this blog. So, I may never be Emily, scribbling notes up in the garet, but I am hoping that I can create something beautiful, and that is all that matters to me.