You know how some dates stick in your head? June 17th sticks in my head forever. That is the day I lost my dear friend Vera. One year ago today, she beat Alzheimer's and finally found peace in death. Vera's last few months had been a hard struggle, and was difficult for everyone in the family to watch as the disease increased at a rapid rate and took so much from her so quickly. But, this post is not about sadness really. It is about family. It was on the 17th of June last year I watched as all of Vera's family came together to honor her and say goodbye in there own way. Each girl (she has 5) was true to their own character and dealt with it in their own way. Grandchildren and great grandchildren came to her side to say goodbye. In sadness there was so much love, it took my breath away.
This post though is about one daughter in particular. We were the two in the room at the time when Vera passed - that ties you together unexpectedly. To understand how she said goodbye, you need a bit of background on their family. Vera's family spent their summers living at the family cottage. They divided up the summer and each family within the larger whole had time to themselves at the cottage, but there were many times when everyone spent time together. As Vera's needs grew, Vera's family ensured that she could still be at the cottage, spending lots of time caring for their ailing mother. From stories I heard, I believe a great deal of time was spent sitting and relaxing and reading, or quietly pondering life.
As Vera lay in her bed that last day, her daughter sat beside her for hours, holding her hand, calming her, just being there. When I walked in, she was so quiet beside her mother, I was concerned that she was overwhelmed with the situation. I came over to ask her if she was okay. I was very surprised with her response. She explained that from the windows in Vera's room, she could look out to the lake and find peace. She had crosswords and books around her, and it was reminding her of her time at the cottage, quietly sitting with her mom for hours. It seemed natural to be there for her. I was incredibly moved and gave her the space she needed to comfort and care for her mom in such a simple and natural way. What a wonderful gift she gave her mom that day.
Happy 16th Birthday, Savannah!
2 months ago
2 comments:
Beautiful post.
It was a blessing to have you there, calmly and quietly offering support, as the worn out cage of Vera's body released the bird of her soul to fly, unencumbered, through all of the worlds of God.
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