socks

My job with Vera started out as simply to take her out for walks. Nothing more, nothing less. I thought I'd stumbled across the dream job - good money, easy task. What I soon learned with my job is that nothing was easy. There is absolutely nothing straightforward when it comes to Alzheimer's. Everything you take for granted in a day is a challenge to someone dealing with Alzheimer's. For me, I was to learn this lesson with socks.

Vera would shuffle around her seniors residence in slippers most of the day. The backs of the slippers were bent and pushed down from her constantly slipping in and out of them as she pleased. When it came to taking her out for a walk, we had to ditch the comfy slippers and put on practical walking shoes. Although this seems easy in theory, it was to be my longest hour EVER!!!

Not knowing I was walking into problems, I asked Vera to sit in her chair while I changed her slippers to shoes. She calmly allowed me to remove the slippers. After I had done so, she asked that I re-adjust her socks. No problem. I fiddled with the toes and carried on. I quickly took the shoe and fit it on her foot and went to carry on to the next foot. Not so fast. Vera explained that something wasn't feeling right. Hmmmm. I looked at the shoe, seemed okay, but maybe I hadn't pulled the sock up, so I removed the shoe, checked there was nothing in the shoe, readjusted the sock and put the shoe back on. Nope. She still seemed dissatisfied with it. Something was wrong, and she couldn't put her finger on it. I tried again. I removed the shoe. She asked that I pull the sock a bit near her baby toe. On went the shoe again, again the complaint was lobbied. Over and over till i could have pounded my head with the shoe. I was watching the clock and realizing by the time the shoe fit, my time to visit would be over. I gave up. I put the slippers back on and we walked the halls instead, with me frustrated over the turn of events.

I must admit, it didn't end that day. I went home, angry and frustrated, and realizing that this job was more than i bargained for. I went back a few more times, and with each attempt to get the shoes on, I was met with the challenge of the socks not fitting. Slowly it dawned on me what the problem was. It wasn't the shoes or the socks really, it was me. It was my job to reassure Vera, and to keep her going in her life. I was stuck. I couldn't get past the socks. With renewed vigor, I went back the next day and was convinced I could get the shoes and socks to work, and we could actually get outside! This time, I listened to her concerns, I worked with her, but I also stepped into the role of caregiver for the first time. I changed the topic, talked about where we were walking, maybe getting a tea, and suddenly, socks were no longer on her radar. She had refocused her attention on the next part of our journey.I'd cut my time down from 1 hour putting on shoes and socks to 5 minutes!! Finally I was being helpful and being the person Vera needed me to be.